Not This Time
by LorelaiSquared
Summary: NOW COMPLETE! Amanda and Lee's first official date. Set directly following "All the Worlds a Stage"
1. Chapter 1

**Not This Time**

**Part One**

For what seemed like the millionth time in several months, Lee Stetson stared into Amanda King's eyes and immediately felt his heart beat more quickly. As if drawn by some invisible force that he had no control over, he dipped his head and leaned toward her. He was close enough to feel her warm, rapid breath against his cheek and for a moment he allowed himself to believe that it was finally going to happen, that after months of unbearable tension and interrupted near miss kisses between them, he would finally get to kiss Amanda. Just as their lips were about to touch, there was a sudden bang from the corridor and they jumped apart. Frustrated, and fed up with waiting, Lee made a split second decision and strode purposefully to the door.

He clicked the lock into place and stared back at Amanda, shaking his head slightly. "No. Not this time," he said softly, his eyes still locked on hers as he stepped toward her.

He heard her breathe in sharply, as she looked back at him with a mixture of anticipation and nervousness. Not wanting to wait any longer, Lee closed the distance between them in two long strides. He looked down at her hands, taking them in his before shifting his gaze up to meet hers. They stared at each other for a beat, both completely silent as they soaked in the moment. The electricity in the air was palpable and Lee knew he'd made the right decision. No more waiting. No more near misses. This was it. This was their time.

Amanda moved first, smoothing her hands up and over the lapels and shoulders of his jacket. It was a motion she'd performed many times before, but this time it was different, more intimate, more possessive. Unable to stop himself, Lee smiled and Amanda's responding grin was instantaneous and bright. God he loved that smile, he thought as he leaned in with purpose. Amanda met him part way and finally their lips were touching.

The first brush of her lips against his was light, tender and brief. Thankfully, before he could even begin to protest the brevity of the kiss, they were kissing again. It was more intense this time, more deliberate. Lee wrapped his arms around Amanda, the way he'd been dying to for months, and pulled her close as he deepened the kiss. She responded instantly, emitting a slight sigh and parting her lips. Lee ran his tongue over her bottom lip and gently prodded her mouth open wide enough for him to explore.

They stumbled backward so that Amanda was pressed against the edge of the desk while Lee kissed her until not breathing was no longer an option. They broke contact only slightly, their foreheads still touching as they caught their breath. Lee felt like his body was on fire. It was as though everything he'd been feeling in the past few months had burst to the surface at once and now it was threatening to consume him. Amanda interrupted his thoughts with another deep kiss and Lee quickly found himself kissing her back, again, and again, and again until they were both flushed and panting.

They stood in the center of the Q-Bureau, still entwined in each other's arms while they each fought for composure. She grinned at him and Lee couldn't resist giving her a quick peck on the nose.

"Hi," he said sheepishly, returning her grin.

"Hello."

"Hi." The absurdity of their words suddenly struck Lee as funny and he leaned his head back, laughing heartily. He felt Amanda's chest move against his as she joined him.

Once their mirth had waned, Lee planted a kiss on Amanda's forehead and muttered, "Smooth, Stetson, smooth."

Amanda let out a sort of strangled giggle. "I admit, of all the things I expected you to say after all that, 'hi' was not on the list."

Lee winced. "Not my finest moment, I admit. My only defense is that my brain is a little frazzled right now."

"It was charming," Amanda insisted.

"Amanda…"

She laughed. "Okay, perhaps charming is too strong of a word. Maybe awkward would be better? Or —"

He swallowed her oncoming barrage of words with another deep kiss.

"Oh," she whispered, when they pulled apart a few minutes later. "Lee…" she trailed off, her eyes filled with emotions she didn't seem to be able to express in words.

"I know." He gently brushed hair from her eyes. "I was beginning to think this would never happen."

"Tell me about it," Amanda agreed wryly, "In fact, I'm still not convinced this isn't another dream."

Lee's eyes glinted. "I_Another/i_ dream?"

Blushing, Amanda looked down at her feet. "Well, ummm, yeah, there may have been one, or two."

"Only one or two?" Lee raised his eyebrows.

She bit her lip shyly and raised her gaze back to his. "Or several hundred…"

He laughed. "Now that's more like it." He gave her another quick kiss. "I'm pretty sure this is real, Amanda." He kissed her again. "You definitely don't feel like a dream."

After a third kiss, Amanda rested her head against his shoulder. "You feel rather real yourself," she claimed before falling silent.

Lee held her to him, stroking lazy lines up and down her back. Several minutes passed and finally Amanda pulled back until she could look up into his eyes. "So what now?" She asked softly.

Before Lee could answer the phone rang, causing them both to startle. Amanda extracted herself from his grasp and leaned across the desk, answering the phone on the fourth ring.

"Oh, hello sir." Her voice was remarkably even, but Lee could see that her hands were shaking. She seemed to sense him watching her and she turned away, but not before he caught the flush of her cheeks. Delighted by the effect he seemed to have on her, Lee smiled as he listened to her side of the conversation.

"… Thank you, sir, I'll tell him right away." She turned back toward him. "You have a nice weekend too, goodbye."

"Billy?" Lee asked as she returned the phone to the receiver.

"Yeah, he just wanted to let us know that he doesn't need the full report on Tony Martinet until Monday, so we're free to leave early if we like."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah." She looked down, tracing her finger over a blemish on the wood.

Why was she acting so shy all of the sudden? Lee wondered. Was she regretting what had just happened between them? Concerned, Lee walked over to her and cupped her chin lightly, tilting her head toward his until he could see her eyes. "Amanda? Is everything okay?"

She smiled softly and nodded. "Everything is fine." She placed a hand on his chest. "Better than fine actually."

Lee frowned. "You don't seem fine."

She stood on her toes and brushed her lips tenderly over his. "I'm okay, Lee, really. Just a little embarassed…"

"Because of this?" Lee gestured between them.

Amanda shook her head. "Oh, no. It's not that Lee, it's just… well, it's silly."

"Try me."

Amanda studied him uncertainly for a moment, then nodded. "I was disappointed when Billy said we could have the afternoon off because it means I won't be spending the afternoon with you and I'm not ready for that."

Stunned, Lee starred at her open mouthed and then burst out laughing. "Amanda, who says an afternoon off means we can't be together? It just means we don't have to spend that time working."

Amanda blinked. "Oh, you mean…"

"Yes, I mean…" Lee kissed her quickly, trying hard not to laugh again. "Amanda King, you and I are going on a proper date this afternoon… that is, if you don't mind?"

She threw her arms around his neck and surprised him with a deep and passionate kiss. "Of course I don't mind Lee," she said when they broke apart. "I was beginning to think you'd never ask."

He slid his hand into hers and squeezed it. "Okay. Give me about twenty minutes to wrap things up here and then we'll head out."

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see." He winked at her, then picked up a file from his desk and pretended to study it. He had the perfect place in mind. He'd just need to make a few quick phone calls first.

#

Amanda watched Lee as he shifted his car into gear and pulled away from the Agency. He looked as happy as she felt and the thought made her smile. She settled back into her seat and wondered where he was taking her. Before they'd left the office she'd tried several times to pry their destination from him but, much to her frustration, he'd remained tight-lipped about it. She stared out the window, trying to determine their direction but Lee was weaving up and down streets the way he would if they were being tailed.

Alarmed, Amanda turned to look out the back, but there was no one behind them.

"Problem?" Lee asked.

"No. I was just wondering what the reason was for your diversionary tactics. I thought perhaps we were being followed."

Lee shook his head and smiled. "Nope, I'm just trying to keep you on your toes, Amanda. I don't want you to figure out where we're going just yet."

Amanda hit him playfully on the shoulder. "You're mean!"

They were stopped at a light and Lee caught her hand with his and brought it to his lips, his eyes meeting hers. "Not mean, Amanda, romantic."

"Oh," Amanda whispered, suddenly breathless from the heated look he was giving her. The silence of the car was deafening and all too soon the light turned green again and he released her hand, his focus on the road once again.

While Lee drove, Amanda let her mind wander back to what had happened in the Q-Bureau less than an hour before. A part of her was still having a hard time believing that their kisses had actually happened. She had dreamed of that moment more times than she could count yet the reality of it was far more wonderful that she'd ever imagined. Lee's kisses had been gentle yet filled with such heat it had left her winded. Never in her life had she felt so desired from a simple kiss. The way he'd been looking at her today sent shivers up and down her spine. It wasn't just today either, she'd sensed a change in the way he looked at her, especially when they were alone, for a while now. And, if truth be told, the way she looked at him had changed too.

She couldn't pinpoint exactly when things had shifted between them. It had happened gradually over the past year, somewhere between their near death adventures at work and the increasing time they'd been spending together outside of the office. She'd always liked Lee, even in the beginning when he was completely pig headed most of the time and clearly hadn't wanted her around. But even then she'd known there was more to him - something that kept him from getting too close to people. Over time she'd managed to penetrate the walls he'd built up and the more she saw of the real Lee, the more she wanted to know. There was a small part of her that wanted to mother him, to take care of him, because he'd clearly never had that before. But more than that, she just wanted to be with him. Every moment they spent apart had become increasingly more difficult and she was happiest when she was in his presence. She'd been avoiding her feelings for months and she realized now that she couldn't escape them. Despite her best judgment and her desire to remain professional, she cared about him, had in fact cared about him as more than just a partner for a very long time. In fact, if she were to be completely honest with herself, and, given the events in the office earlier, she probably should, she was falling for Lee Stetson.

"Amanda?" Lee's voice jolted her out of her reverie and she looked up to see that they had stopped in a small parking lot alongside a forest.

"Where are we?"

"Rock Creek Park."

Amanda peered out the window. She recognized it immediately as being the south end of the park. "I thought you didn't like nature."

Lee laughed as he extracted himself from the car and walked around to open her door for her. "I don't, really, but I know how much you love it, so I thought we could maybe take a walk, talk a little…" He trailed off, shuffling his feet adorably as he offered his hand to help her out of the car.

As her fingers slid into his hand, the electricity returned and Amanda shuddered. Things had definitely shifted between them today. Lee seemed to sense it too and his eyes locked on hers. They were dark and deep and filled with unspoken meaning that made her want to melt. Free from the confines of the car, Amanda stood on her toes and kissed his cheek tenderly.

"What was that for?" Lee asked, bemused, his fingers touching the spot where her lips had been.

"For thinking of me in your choice. For stepping outside of your comfort zone to bring me to this beautiful place." She gestured to the park beside them. There was a trail cut through an arbour of blossom laden trees creating a sort of tunnel effect that enchanted her. She couldn't think of a more perfect setting for their first date. "It's perfect." Her voice was softer now and she stood directly in front of him as she again rose onto the balls of her feet, this time to kiss him gently on the lips.

He responded immediately, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close as he deepened the kiss. Somewhere in the back of her mind she registered the sound of a car door slamming and felt the cool metal of his car against her back. Amanda parted her lips invitingly and Lee answered with the tantalizing brush of his tongue along her gumline. He began to explore her with his tongue and she shivered involuntarily as his tongue slid over her inner cheeks, explored her teeth and entwined with her own. She responded in kind, exploring his mouth with aplomb, making note of what made him moan, or shudder.

They heard voices and they quickly jumped apart as a family emerged from the bushes and headed to their car. Amanda laughed nervously. "I guess that's become a bit of a habit," she joked, thinking of the countless times in the past few months that they'd nearly kissed only to be interrupted and forced to jump apart the way they had just then.

Lee smiled, the far away look on his face indicating that he was thinking the same thing. "Oh, it has. But at least that time we actually made it to the kissing first."

The both laughed and Amanda felt some of the tension ease from her shoulders. "I could get used to that," she whispered when they'd settled.

Grinning, Lee kissed her nose, and slipped his right hand firmly into hers, entwining their fingers. "Me too Amanda, me too." Then, with a gentle tug, he guided her toward the path. "Come, lets go for that walk."

#

Lee sighed contentedly as they walked through the park hand in hand. He was glad he'd decided to bring her here. She was clearly in her element, and he was finding it hard to resist kissing her again as she prattled on adorably about plant species and blooming cycles. He let his gaze pass over her, and he let himself savour the moment, taking in every detail - the brightness of her eyes, the pink flush of her cheeks, the way she smiled as she educated him on the difference between coniferous trees and evergreens, the way the wind blew her hair across her cheek.

She released his hand for a moment so she could pick a wild flower and Lee missed the contact immediately. It had only been a few hours since he'd finally given in to his feelings for Amanda and already he was becoming enormously attached. It scared him and for a brief second a tiny part of him contemplated running but then Amanda slipped her had back into his and it felt more right than anything else in the world and he knew, without a doubt that his bachelor days were over for good. He had changed, largely because of Amanda, and he was no longer the man who needed four little black books to keep track of everything. In fact, he hadn't been that man for quite some time now.

When they reached the Boulder Bridge Amanda stopped. She squeezed his hand and looked up at him questioningly. "Lee? Is everything all right?"

Looking down at her uncertain expression, Lee felt any remaining doubts flee. She was the most beautiful creature in the world to him as she stood there silently, her bottom lip pulled between her teeth, her hair glistening from the reflection of the sun on the stream behind her.

"Lee?"

Realizing he hadn't answered her yet, Lee placed both of his hands on her cheeks. "Everything is fine, Amanda," he whispered, dipping his head until his lips met hers. This time he kissed her tenderly, infusing his movements with the emotions he couldn't yet express in words. She sighed against him, her arms wrapping around him and holding him close. Lee lost himself in the kiss, his awareness of everything else fading as he gave himself over to his passion. His hands were on her back now, dancing lightly up and down her spine as he gently trailed kisses up along her jawline.

"You're beautiful," he breathed into her ear, planting a kiss on the tip of her earlobe. Her answering shudder made him smile against her check as he kissed his way back down, lingering against her lips for just a moment too long before stringing another trail of kisses up to her other ear. This time he whispered her name and nipped at her ear before returning to her mouth and kissing her deep and hard. She moaned against him causing him to hold her tighter, kiss her more deeply. They remained that way for what seemed like hours, finally surfacing when the heat of the sun became unbearable.

After hugging her firmly, Lee reluctantly stepped away, leaning on the edge of the stone bridge and looking out at the stream and forest surrounding it. This really was a lovely little park, he realized.

He sensed Amanda behind him and was not surprised when he felt a gentle touch on his shoulder. She glided her hand down his arm until her palm met his and their fingers were entwined once again. She brought their joined hands to her lips, kissing his knuckles softly before resting their hands along the edge of the bridge as she matched his stance.

"Breathtaking, isn't it?" she asked quietly after they'd stood in companionable silence for a long time.

Lee met her gaze. "The view or our kisses?"

Amanda blushed, turning away to look back out at the stream. "Both," she murmured, and Lee was charmed by the small smile that pursed her lips.

"Well, I know that _emmy/em _view is definitely breathtaking," he teased, looking her up and down suggestively.

"Lee!" Amanda squealed, looking suddenly uncomfortable.

Concerned, Lee reached for her other hand and turned her to face him.

"Amanda? What's wrong?"

She turned her head, and her refusal to meet his gaze was worrying

"Amanda? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she whispered, "It's just…"

Lee released one of her hands so he could cup her chin and gently turn her to face him. "It's okay, Amanda, you can tell me."

Her cheeks were rosy as she slowly looked up at him. "It's just that I'm not used to being the center of attention. Joe was usually so busy with his own stuff, he never really looked at me - at least, not the way you do - " She blushed. "- And now with the boys and mother and work, it just seems like I'm always so busy looking after everyone that I don't even have time to stop and breathe some days. And right now I feel… Why are you looking at me that way?"

"Because sometimes, Amanda, you are the most adorable creature on the planet." Lee pulled her into his arms again and hugged her tightly. "It's time you _emwere/em_ the centre of attention. You're beautiful Amanda, inside and out and I'm the luckiest guy in the world right now because I get to spend time with you." He kissed her. "Get used to the attention, because I intend to shower you with it."

"Oh Lee, you don't have to —"

He placed a finger over her lips to silence her. "Yes, I do. You said it yourself, you're always so busy looking after everyone else. Well, I think it's time someone looked after you sometimes, for a change."

"But—"

"No Amanda, this isn't negotiable."

She opened her mouth as if to protest again but quickly closed it, studying him carefully. "So, what you're saying is that _emyou/em_ want to take care of me?"

It was Lee's turn to blush. "It sounds a bit strange when you put it that way, but essentially yes. - if you'll let me."

Amanda bit her lip thoughtfully. "So, does this mean we're dating?"

Lee laughed. "Well, this is a date isn't it?"

Amanda rolled her eyes. "Well, yes, this is, but I'm talking about the bigger picture. You know, after today."

Lee gaped at her. "Did you think this was a one time thing?"

"I wasn't sure." Amanda said hesitantly. "You tend to date women for a little while and then they're just… gone."

Lee shook his head. "Amanda, listen to me. Those women are in my past, I'm not like that anymore. You're special and you mean so much more to me than that."

"I do?" Her voice was barely a whisper.

"Of course you do." He kissed her deeply, trying to show her just how much he cared for her. "Amanda, I admit I've been fighting this for a while now, but I don't want to fight it anymore. I care about you, I want to be with you, and yes, I want to date you."

She was about to speak again, but he cut her off quickly. "And just so there's no confusion, by that, I mean I want a relationship with you. I'm not going anywhere, Amanda."

Amanda stared at him for a long time before responding. Lee watched her carefully as she seemed to weigh his words over in her mind, and he held his breath, hoping he hadn't blown it by coming on too strong. Finally, Amanda stepped back into his embrace and tipped her face up to his, her fingers running over his jawline. "I want that too, Lee. So badly." Her lips were hovering right over his when she spoke her next words. "I'm just worried you'll break my heart."

"And I'm worried you'll break mine," Lee admitted, "But I think it's worth the risk, don't you?" At Amanda's nod, Lee closed the distance between them and this time when he kissed her he didn't hold back.

_TBC_


	2. Chapter 2

**Not This Time**

**Part Two**

Amanda couldn't remember the last time she'd had such a pleasant, relaxing afternoon. The walk in the park with Lee had been wonderful and utterly romantic and she'd seen new sides to Lee that she could definitely get used to. More importantly, their conversation on the bridge had reassured her. As much as she cared for him, she had been hesitant about the wisdom of getting into a relationship with him. It was part of why she'd so easily accepted the months of interruptions. She had wanted to take this next step, but she'd been afraid. Afraid of being hurt, afraid of losing her partner and best friend. Afraid that she'd become too attached to Lee Stetson - the consummate bachelor.

And yet, as they'd stood on the picturesque bridge, it had been Lee who had asked for a relationship with her. To say she'd been surprised by that would be an understatement. He'd absolutely floored her with that request. Of all the things she'd imagined he would say to her, asking for a relationship was definitely not one of them. But the mere fact that he had asked told her that he really had changed. As she studied his face, the sincerity that she saw there told her with certainty that he was no longer the grumpy bachelor she'd met on the platform all those years ago, flirting with and bedding women left, right and center. She'd realized then that she hadn't seen him with any other women in months, and she wondered if she was the reason. After all, they had been spending an awful lot of time together in recent months, and she hadn't looked twice at another man in at least as long as that, so perhaps it was the same with Lee?

Then, as he waited for her response, Lee seemed to bite his lip nervously and Amanda felt her heart melt. He was genuinely nervous and worried that she'd say "no" to his request. Caring for him more in that moment than she had ever thought possible, she'd touched his face and admitted not only her desire for a relationship with him but also her fear that he'd break her heart. His own admission endeared him to her even more and the last of her doubts vanished as she agreed that it was worth the risk.

If Amanda had thought their kisses had been intense before, the kiss that followed their confessions was an absolute hurricane of sensation. She had never felt anything like it before and she'd surrendered herself over to it heart, mind and soul. They'd kissed on the bridge for eons after that, completely immune to everything around them. Amanda had been vaguely aware of people walking past them, yet for once they didn't jump apart, instead ignoring the interruption and remaining completely wrapped up in the moment.

It took a group of animated high school students trouping through the woods to return them to their senses, and even then Amanda had felt quite unlike herself. They'd stood there, holding each other as the teenagers passed, Amanda resting her head against his shoulder as they both caught their breath. Several minutes later, when Lee suggested they return to the car, Amanda had merely nodded, not trusting her voice to work properly. She'd felt her legs wobble as she began to walk and she'd been eternally grateful when Lee slid his arm around her shoulder and gently guided her back to the car.

The car jerked and Amanda blinked as her thoughts returned to the present. The late afternoon sun glared against the windshield as Lee navigated the Corvette through rush hour traffic and Amanda had to squint as she tried to figure out where they were. Recognizing the bridge that she crossed daily on her way to and from work, she frowned and glanced over at Lee.

"We're going to Arlington?" she asked, trying to conceal her disappointment.

Lee chuckled softly, a low sound that sent shivers cascading over her body. "I'm not taking you home yet, if that's what you're worried about."

"I'm not worried, it's just… never-mind," she said, looking away.

Another driver swerved in front of them and Lee swore, his focus returning to the road as he changed lanes at the last minute to avoid a collision. They fell silent after that, Amanda letting her mind wander off as she stared idly out the window. She was vaguely aware of Lee muttering to himself as navigated his way through the minefield of rush hour traffic. Eventually Lee managed to pass a large truck that was moving at a snails pace and Amanda couldn't help but grin at the look of triumph on his face as they burst free from the congestion and continued south along the parkway.

Loosening his grip on the wheel now that he didn't need to concentrate as hard, Lee cast a quick glance her direction and picked up their earlier conversation. "It's just what, Amanda?"

"What?" It took Amanda a moment to realize what he was referring to and she laughed nervously. She was far more relaxed now that she was no longer worried they'd be in her neighbourhood and she felt a bit foolish for her earlier concern. She sighed, deciding to answer him honestly. "It's just that I know a lot of people in Arlington, so I was worried that if we were seen it could get back to Mother."

Lee chuckled. "Are you that ashamed of me?"

Amanda hit him playfully on the arm. "Of course not. I'm just not sure it's the right time for her to find out about us. I mean, all this-" She gestured between them. "It's all so new. I'd kind of like to keep you to myself for a little bit before we have to deal with Mother and the boys. Gosh, that's a horrible thing for me to say!" Amanda cringed at herself.

Lee pulled into a street-side parking space and stopped the car before turning toward her and reaching for her hands. He took them in his and kissed the top gently before responding. "It's not horrible, Amanda. I know exactly what you mean."

He released her hands then and climbed out of the car in silence. He didn't speak again until he'd opened her door and pulled her to her feet and into the comforting circle of his arms. Her heart started beating more rapidly at the increased contact. "I kind of like the idea of keeping this to ourselves for a while." Lee grinned devilishly. "It means I'm completely free to do things like this." He bent his head to capture her lips. His kiss was gentle but prodding and once again Amanda felt herself surrender to him completely. If this is what he could do to her with a mere kiss, what would happen when they —

Her face suddenly warm, Amanda quickly pushed the thought from her mind and focused on kissing Lee back. Her tongue sought his and for several minutes she escaped into passionate oblivion.

"Let's talk about it later," Lee suggested when they finally broke apart. He took her hand then locked the doors of the car before pulling her down the street. "Right now I want to enjoy every second of our first date."

Amanda looked around, taking in their surroundings for the first time and noting the historic brick buildings and charming sidewalks. "Is this Old Town Alexandria?"

Lee grinned. "It is. It's one of my favourite parts of the Washington area. I figured we could wander down King Street and then maybe walk along the Potomac for a bit before I take you to one of my favourite restaurants for dinner."

"I'd like that." Amanda grinned and they slowly started to meander down the street. "You know," she said after they'd walked in silence for about a block. "I never would have pegged you for such a romantic, Lee,"

Lee shrugged. "There're lots of things you don't know about me, Amanda, but that's about to change I suspect." He paused outside a small flower shop. "Hold that thought."

He came out a moment later with the most beautiful deep pink gerbera daisy Amanda had ever seen. "It's beautiful," she breathed.

"Just like you," Lee whispered, handing it to her with a flourish.

"Aww Lee, you're just full of surprises today." Amanda smiled happily while Lee wasted no time in entwining his hand with hers again as they continued down the street.

"For you, always." He tugged her sideways gently so that their shoulders were touching as he leaned toward her ear and continued. "I meant what I said though, my life is an open book to you, now. Anything you want to know about me, about my… past - " He swallowed nervously and Amanda squeezed his hand encouragingly, knowing just how much it was costing him to be so vulnerable. "-Anything at all, you just need to ask and I'll try my best to answer you."

Deeply touched at his faith and trust in her Amanda stopped walking and pulled him into her embrace right in the middle of the street. She hugged him tightly. "Thank you, Lee, for trusting me. It means so much to me that you do." She kissed his cheek. "Lee, I want to know everything I possibly can about you, but I'll never ask you to tell me anything you're not ready for. I'm not going anywhere, so you just be sure that when or if you want to tell me anything you won't hesitate. I'll be here to listen whenever you're ready."

Lee nodded, pressing her to his chest. "I can do that. Thank you, Amanda."

Someone passing by jostled them and they reluctantly broke the embrace to walk hand in hand down the historic street. As they wove in and out of the crowd, Amanda stopped periodically to exclaim over items in the shop windows while Lee looked on, half amused. Occasionally they broke into conversation again but mostly they just wandered and browsed in companionable silence, enjoying the luxury of uninterrupted quality time together. Through it all, their hands remained joined, the physical contact a constant reminder of the bond they were forging.

#

The sun was setting when they finally made their way to the river and Lee once again found himself mesmerized by Amanda's beauty as the vibrant hues reflected across her features. Deciding it had been far too long since his lips had last touched hers, Lee suddenly tugged her into his arms and sought her mouth hungrily. Her gasp of surprise was quickly swallowed by his mouth as he consumed her ardently. He ran his tongue over her teeth, and was rewarded with a shudder. He used his arms to press their bodies more tightly together as he sank into the kiss. Every emotion he'd conjured up during the course of the day swarmed to the surface and increased the intensity of the kiss so much that Lee felt as though every cell in his body were ablaze.

Amanda's own passion answered his, matching every flick of the tongue or tug of the lips with one of her own. Lee wound his fingers into her soft, thick hair, as he ran his tongue over the tender flesh on the roof of her mouth. Amanda's knees buckled and she sagged against him as he shifted a hand to her waist to help support her.

"Are you okay?" he whispered into her ear, his cheek flush against hers.

"Never better," she gasped, her breath ragged against his face.

He smiled, tracing a line of wet kisses down to her lips. "Good," he replied, reaching his destination. He kissed her with purpose, releasing her only when she was breathless once more. "Dinner?"

"What?" Amanda asked dazedly, her cheeks pink and her eyes bright.

Lee put his arm around her and hugged her lightly as he spun her to face the street. "Are you ready to go eat?"

"Oh, yeah. Sure." She said distractedly.

Night had fallen while they'd been preoccupied and the path up to the street was now marked with light from dim lamps that dotted the route. They walked slowly, Lee's arm draped over Amanda's shoulders, while she leaned on him for support.

He guided them down the block to a secluded restaurant where a young man who couldn't have been a day over 18 greeted them as they entered. "Welcome. My name is Thomas. How can I be of service?"

"We have a reservation for Stetson." Lee told him.

Thomas looked at the reservation book carefully before nodding and beaconing them to follow him. "Certainly. Come right this way, Mr. and Mrs. Stetson."

Lee stopped in his tracks, his chest thumping. Beside him, Amanda also froze. They exchanged a stunned look before Lee finally composed himself and cleared his throat. "Oh, um, we're not married." He tripped over the words with his tongue even as he wondered why he was feeling a sense of regret and disappointment.

"Oh, I'm so sorry." Thomas stuttered, his face reddening. "I just assumed…"

"It's okay, Thomas," Amanda assured him with one of her motherly smiles. "No harm done."

He nodded nervously and quickly set two menus in place at a private table in the back corner of the restaurant before making a hasty retreat.

As Lee helped Amanda with her jacket, he heard her gasp audibly. Windows surrounded the area, providing a beautiful view of DC all lit up with the lights reflecting upon the water of the Potomac.

"Breathtaking isn't it?"

"It's beautiful, Lee. Thank you for bringing me here. I can't think of a more perfect setting for our first date."

He pulled out a chair for her as she spoke and once she was seated, he kissed the top of her head before pushing her in. "I wanted it to be special," he confessed.

"Oh, Lee, it is. This whole day has been amazing."

Lee settled himself into the chair across from her before reaching for her hand and lacing his fingers between hers. "I agree," he murmured softly, eyes locked on hers. "The best day of my life."

Amanda's face softened with emotion. "Oh, Lee."

"It's true." He brought the top of her hand to his lips. "Amanda, sometimes I think that I didn't start living until I met you."

"Lee —"

He kept going, ignoring the interruption. "After my parents died, a part of me was dead too. The Colonel, he did his best, I know that, but when I look back on that part of my childhood I realize that I was merely existing." He paused, swallowing thickly.

Amanda squeezed his hand. "Lee, you don't have to -"

"No, I do." He squeezed back. "This is something you should know."

Amanda studied him for a moment before nodding. "Okay, I'm sorry for interrupting. Please go on."

"Thank you." He clung to her hand, drawing courage from her firm grasp. "Amanda, I spent years of my life going through the motions. I knew how to act, I knew how to pretend to feel, I knew what was expected of me and I did it; but through it all, I never let myself acknowledge my emotions. I built up walls to keep people out, to prevent myself from being hurt. I closed myself off from the world in so many ways, choosing not to experience things fully and instead standing by and watching them. I threw myself into my work, letting it consume me, letting it exhaust me so that I didn't have to think. And then, after my partner's death, I shut myself off even more. Work became my escape, and I put everything into solving my cases. I tried to quell my loneliness by seeking comfort in various women. I knew how to say the right things to get what I wanted and for a time, that was enough for me."

The corners of Amanda's eyes were damp, but when he tried to wipe them for her, she shook her head. "I'm okay, Lee. Please keep going, I'm listening."

"Thanks." He smiled gratefully and took a deep breath before continuing, his thumb idly rubbing the back of her hand as he spoke. "So I was living life like a puppet. Fulfilling my duties at work by day, seeking false comfort by night, and generally pretending that all was well. And then, one day I met a woman on a train platform while I was on a case. I was being chased so I didn't have much time but even so, I noticed her right away. There was something about her eyes that drew me to her and the next thing I knew she was deeply entwined in my life. The more time I spent with her, the more I felt the walls I'd so carefully built up begin to crumble. You changed me, Amanda, you taught me how to feel again, how to live again. I don't know exactly when or how it happened, but somehow, somewhere along the way in the past three years you managed to break through all of my boundaries and worm your way into my heart. Your eternally positive outlook on life, your devotion to your loved ones and your unfailing ability to deal with every challenge that life can throw at you has taught me how to truly appreciate life. I'm a better person because of you. I was broken in so many ways before I met you, and now I'm whole again."

He met her gaze, and was overcome with love for her when he saw that her eyes were swimming with unshed tears. "I just wanted to thank you for that, Amanda," he whispered, wiping at her eyes with his thumb and bringing her tears to his lips.

"Oh, Lee," Amanda choked hoarsely. "I had no idea."

An awkward moment of silence passed between them and Lee looked down at his lap, uncertain of what to say next.

"You've changed me too, you know?" The words were spoken so softly that Lee nearly missed them.

He looked up at Amanda, surprised. "I have?"

Amanda smiled and adjusted their hands so that hers were placed on top of his. "Of course you have. Lee, when you stopped me on that platform, I was at a point in my life where I didn't quite know where to go next. My husband had left me with two little boys who needed me, my mother had moved in to help me out, I was stuck in a comfortable but boring relationship that I couldn't quite break away from. I was happy being a stay at home mother, but at the same time I wanted to see more of the world. And then you came along and suddenly I was a part of this whole other realm of possibilities, it was dangerous and exciting, but more importantly it mattered. Lee, the things we've done the past few years have been incredible. I've learned so much about myself, about what I'm capable of. By working with you, I found a strength within myself that I hadn't known existed. You showed me that Lee, you made me a stronger person. It's because of you, that I make a difference every day. Not always for the country or the world, but everything we do makes the world a little bit safer for my boys and that's something I'll be forever grateful for."

"I didn't make you strong, Amanda," Lee said softly. "You were always strong. Look at all you'd been through, all you'd accomplished before we even met. You raised those amazing boys of yours all by yourself. I know you had your mother's help, but I also know that it couldn't have been easy for you to do that without the support of their father. It took great strength for you to do that, and for you to raise them in such a way that they are not bitter towards him. Plus, they're great kids - considerate, caring, well adjusted. You did that Amanda!"

Lee watched Amanda struggle for composure, taking deep breaths and blinking back tears. "Thank you, Lee," she whispered hoarsely. "It means a lot to me to hear you say that."

Thomas returned then, filling their wine glasses with Chardonnay and setting the remainder of the bottle on the table. "Are you ready to order?"

Amanda reached for her menu and quickly opened it. Lee smiled up at the waiter. "Give us a few minutes?"

"Of course, sir!" Thomas wandered away, leaving them alone as they stared in silence at their menus.

Several minutes later, once they'd ordered their meals and Thomas had left them alone again, Lee noticed Amanda staring at him pensively.

"Are you okay?"

"What? Oh, yes, sorry Lee, I'm fine. I was just thinking."

"About…?"

"About how much the boys would adore you."

Lee raised his eyebrows in surprise. "You think so?"

"Oh, they'd be fascinated by you, Jamie especially." Amanda took a sip of her wine. "I know earlier, we talked about keeping us a secret, but maybe I was wrong." She met his gaze. "Maybe it's time you met my family properly."

Lee picked up his own glass and swirled it, staring at the little whirlpool of wine created by the motion. "I'm not sure that's such a good idea," he finally said hesitantly.

"Oh," Amanda looked away but not before he caught the hurt that was reflected in her eyes.

Quickly reaching across the table, he gently lifted her chin until they were eye to eye. "Amanda, it's not that I don't want to meet your family. Trust me, I do, more than anything. It's just that the last thing I want to do is put them in danger and I can't help but worry that if they knew about us, it'd make them a target. I couldn't bear if anything happened to them."

The emotion in Amanda's eyes made his heart ache. "You really care about them, don't you?"

"Of course I do, Amanda."

"Do you really think knowing about our relationship would put them in danger?"

Lee was silent for a moment. "They're already in danger just through the nature of what we do, if they knew anything, or even if someone just thought they knew something, they'd be in even more danger. Your mother too."

Amanda's eyes widened. "I hadn't thought of that."

Taking her hand, he gave her a reassuring squeeze. "Amanda, I'm not trying to scare you, it's just that these are the things I think about, it's partly why…"

"Why what, Lee?" Amanda inquired after he let the sentence hang in the air a little too long.

He sighed. "It's partly why I waited so long to act on my feelings for you. By doing this, by being together, we put everyone, including ourselves, in more danger."

Amanda pulled her hand away and turned to look out at the river. "Are you saying you don't think we should do this?"

Alarmed, Lee sprang from his seat and moved to kneel in front of her. He grasped her hands again, and closed his eyes for a moment, willing her to understand. "No, Amanda, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that's what held me back."

Slowly she pulled her gaze away from the window to look at him. Her eyes were swimming with unshed tears. His heart ached at the sight and he had to resist the temptation to pull her into his arms. He could comfort her in a moment, right now he needed to explain. Instead he cupped her delicate cheeks and met her gaze head on. "Amanda, for as long as I've known you, there's been an invisible line between us. A line that I put there partly to protect myself and partly to protect you. There was a time where I promised myself I'd never cross that line. We crossed that line for good today but I've been so close to crossing it countless times before now. The only thing holding me back has been fear. Fear of being hurt, fear of losing you, fear of losing someone close to us. Today I realized that my feelings for you are more important than the fears. I can't hold myself back any longer because to do so would be to deny part of who I am. Like it or not, you're deeply entwined in my life Amanda, you've become a part of me. And the reality is, you're in danger whether we're together or not so it's foolish to let that hold me back any longer. I meant what I said earlier Amanda, I want a relationship with you. I am not going anywhere."

"Oh, Lee." Amanda's tears had spilled over onto her cheeks while he spoke and Lee swiped at them now before pulling her off the chair and enfolding her into his arms.

They clung to each other for several moments. Finally Lee kissed the top of her head and continued talking. "I think it would be better for everyone concerned if for now, we just kept this to ourselves, especially at work. The less people who know about our relationship the better. It will keep everyone safer. As for your family, I do think that eventually we should tell them, but not yet, the longer we can keep them safe, the better. For now, let's just keep spending time together and we'll see where it takes us. How does that sound?"

Amanda pulled her face away from his chest and looked up at him. "I think that sounds good," she whispered as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his face to hers. Her lips were nearly touching his when she spoke again, "Thank you for caring so much about my family's safety, Lee." With that, she pressed her lips to his and kissed him with such fervor it winded him and it wasn't until several seconds later that he was able to recover and reciprocate in kind, reassuring her with every stroke of his tongue that she was it for him.

When the waiter cleared his throat a few minutes later, they jumped apart, both of them blushing furiously as they stumbled back into their chairs. Once they were seated, and Thomas had served their meals, Lee caught Amanda's eye and raised his glass.

"To our first date."

Amanda smiled and lifted her own glass, touching it against his with a soft clink.

"May it be the first of many," she added.

Lee sipped his wine. "Trust me, Amanda," he said, gazing at her intently as he returned his glass to the table. "This is only the beginning."

_FIN_


End file.
